The Problems With The Will Maneuver
by With-the-Wolves
Summary: Based off of tuglover98's story, "The Will Maneuver" Gilan's life is ruined when Will starts telling everyone a crazy story about him defeating a battle-axe guy with only his two knives. To fix things, he gets help from two strange people of a strange religion, Zana and a nameless side-character. Random, probably kind of stupid, but hopefully pretty funny.


**This story is based off of my best friend, tuglover98's story, "The Will Manuver" It's incredibly random, Will is completely OOC, and one of the important character goes by, "Nameless side-character" Don't expect it to be amazing or great, I was just bored and thought that writing this would be entertaining.**

* * *

_Will was almost out of room on the cliff he was on. If he took one more step back he would fall 20 maybe 30 feet with nothing but hard rock to land on. He didn't remember how he had gotten there but all he knew was that there was an angry guy with a battle-axe chasing him and all he had was his 2 knives._

_He was about to give up all hope and let the angry guy win, when out of nowhere Gilan popped out of the woods behind the angry man and yelled, "Hey Will, remember that if you're facing a battle-axe man with only 2 knives, it's easier to just jump off the cliff."_

_Will recognized Gilan and tried to see if Gilan could help him and just shoot the battle-ax man with an arrow but, before he can even get a word out, Gilan is gone. He stood there confused for some time before he realized that the battle-axe man was coming towards him once again._

_Again, Gilan popped up and said, "Hey battle-axe man, you better win because I bet my money on you." Then he disappeared, leaving Will shocked that not only would Gilan not help him, but he would bet that Will would lose!_

_Suddenly an idea popped into Will's head and in one quick move he managed to wrap one of his knives around the axe, making the handle of the axe turn in the man's hand. The man dropped his battle-axe and yelled in agony. With the axe out of the way, Will just had to get rid of the man, so he then punched the man right in the nose as hard as he could. The man fell over, unconscious from the blow and Will promptly tied him up._

_Then Gilan, for the third time, popped up out of nowhere, looked at the guy, and said, "Well there goes my 50 bucks. Good job though, Will. What was that move you did to get the ax out of his hand?"_

_Will then replied with the most honest answer, "I'm not exactly sure but, whatever it was, I shall call it 'The Will Maneuver.'" Then he turned to Gilan and asked, "Why didn't you help me and how come you didn't bet on _me_?"_

_Gilan simply answered, "I wanted to see if you are really getting as good as Halt says you are; besides if you got into any real trouble I would have shot him for you."_

* * *

This was the story that Will was telling every single person in Araluen. Every. Single. Person. Farmers, knights, random drunk people from bars that Will went into just to tell his story. It didn't seem to matter to anyone that the story didn't even make sense! They just got mad at Gilan and yelled at him, or pushed him into old ladies, or threw cantaloupes at him, or came back in time from the future and shot him with some sort of future-gun!

Okay, that last thing never actually happened, but…Everything else did!

Needless to say, Gilan was beginning to get a little tired of being hated because Will just HAD to have his own maneuver-thingy.

More than once, Gilan had brought up the issue with Will.

* * *

"Will, why are you telling everyone lies about that mission we went on together?"

"What are you talking about, Gilan?" Will usually said, feigning ignorance.

"Will, you know very well that it is not possible for one's knife to _wrap itself around a battle-axe_!"

"Is too! You were there, you saw!"

"Will, I shot the guy with my bow because you broke yours."

"Who made you the chemist? It could have happened that way, you don't know!"

"Will, I was there."

"Whatever, you're just jealous because you don't have your own maneuver."

"Will, people throw cantaloupes at me!"

But by then, Will has disappeared into the woods, and Gilan is by himself…And also lost because he has no idea what part of the woods he is in.

* * *

Gilan had decided that it was time for the story to be exposed as a fabrication. It was through this line of thought that he went into a random bar that he found, looking for a battle-axe guy.

Of course, Will was in this same bar, telling his story to drunk guys. Yay…

"And there's Gilan now, not helping me, just like he was when we were on our mission." Will said when he saw Gilan.

Gilan waved, not looking up. Then he got hit with a cantaloupe, which knocked him out.

He woke up in a strange land. "Where the hell am I?" He asked, half expecting that one of the members of Will's fan-club had kidnapped him and was planning his murder.

"You're in a barn." Came a voice from a source that Gilan couldn't see.

"Who are you?" Gilan asked.

"I don't really have a name, as the writer didn't feel like making me up one." The voice said, coming into Gilan's view. The man was of average size, with white hair and grey eyes. But, something in his gaze looked strangely threatening.

"Well, that's…" Gilan trailed off as the man started crying. "Uh…What's wrong?" Gilan asked tentatively.

"He's just sad because he's a nameless side-character." Came another voice.

Gilan looked around, before a girl appeared from a doorway. She looked to be about eleven or twelve, with long, black hair and purple eyes. "Umm…Okay?" Gilan said.

"I'm called Zana, of all things." The girl said, rolling her eyes.

"Zana?"

"The writer's mother was originally going to name her first daughter Zana. She didn't, of course, but the writer thought that it would be a _great_ name for me. Frankly, I'd rather be nameless."

"You two keep alluding to this…Writer?"

"Yeah. The writer controls all. There are plenty of different writers for our land, most of which know and can control you. Only one knows us at the moment, though, the one who controls this very scene."

"Wha—" Gilan started to ask.

"Me and the side-character are the only two members of a nameless religion."

"Nameless?"

"The writer didn't give our religion a name."

Gilan raised one eyebrow at Zana. "So…this writer….controls everything? Including Will telling his story?"

"She's the one causing it to happen."

"So now you know that the writer is a 'she?'"

Zana nodded. "Our creator is. Yours is a man, admired by many. Their names escape me, though."

Thoroughly confused, Gilan said, "So…We have no hope, we just do whatever they write us doing?"

"Pretty much." Zana said.

* * *

The side-character, Zana, and Gilan walked through the crowd that had gathered around Will. He was telling his story again, to the surprise of no one.

They had planned for hours, and they believed that their plan would work. They didn't know where to find a battle-axe, but then one appeared, hiding in a pile of hay. Zana instantly said a strange form of prayer, thanking the writer for providing for them. It creeped Gilan out a little bit, but then, most religions creeped Gilan out.

"Hey!" Zana shouted at Will.

Will looked down at her, surprised. No one, least of all a little girl, had ever interrupted his story.

"Are you the one who can defeat a battle-axe guy with only two knives?"

Will nodded. "Yes, as you could tell from the story I was _trying_ to tell."

"I challenge you to a duel against my friend." Zana said, gesturing to the side-character.

The side character stepped forward. "Do you accept the duel?" He asked.

"Wait, I don't know the terms of the duel, whether it's to the death, anything!" Will said.

"This is not a duel to the death. This is simply a test of your abilities. After all, none of us were here when you defeated that battle-axe guy without the help of Gilan. Prove to us that "The Will Maneuver" really works."

"Okay, I accept the duel." Will said, somewhat nervously.

Will was set up to fail from the beginning; after all, as Gilan had often told him, one should NEVER try to defeat a battle-axe guy with only to knives. It seriously took two seconds for the side-character to defeat Will.

As soon as Will was defeated, Gilan stepped up onto the platform that Will had been standing upon. "Ladies and gentlemen, his man has been lying to you. He never defeated that battle-axe guy while on—" Gilan got cut off as someone threw a cantaloupe at him. Luckily, he ducked just in time. He stood up and glared in the general direction that the cantaloupe had come from. "As I was saying, Will did not defeat that battle-axe guy alone. I, Gilan, shot him with my bow because Will broke his in an incident involving a deer and a very awful failure at hunting."

"That's a lie!" Will said. "I have been unfairly…" He trailed off as Zana glared at him.

"As you can see, "The Will Maneuver" does not work. "The Will Maneuver" will never work. Ever. No matter what. Never try to defeat a battle-axe guy with only two knives. You WILL end up dead.


End file.
